“Hannah Hamberder” Tops Countryty Charts

Countryty singer Durks Benzley has the first #1 single on the Billboardard Countryty charts with his new single “Hannah Hamberder,” about a young woman named Hannah who sells hamberders and cheezberders and MAGA fries with kerchup.

The song, which has sold seventy copies according to Sounddscan and 7 million according to Donald Trump, edged out “Covfefe” by Redneck Code and Scott Travis to claim the pole position.

Countryty songs have not sold as well as other types of music, primarily because most people cannot access this music due to the reality they are living in. But have no worriesies, the crack team at Glue News put together a solid effort and managed to uncover the lyrics to “Hannah Hamberder” so they can be appreciated by those who cannot otherwise find countryty music.

I found Cheesus when I looked into her eyes
Best believe this, her doe eyes cause me to rise
Up from my car seat, no drive-in I’m at the counter
Every meal I eat and I’m so happy I found her

She’s Hannah Hamberder
I’m grateful to have heard her
Singing as she’s slinging MAGA fries made fresh to erder
Seven miles south of the Pennsylvania berder
I’m gonna make her mine, maybe make her moan liker Myrter

She’s got sweet buns, she was bred well in Kentucky
We’ll catch up after her shift, if she’s free and I am lucky
We’ll meet up for covfefe, I’ll buy the best for Hannah
The purdiest hamberder gal from here to Texarkana

She’s Hannah Hamberder
I’m grateful to have heard her
Singing as she’s slinging MAGA fries made fresh to erder
Seven miles south of the Pennsylvania berder
I’m gonna make her mine, maybe make her moan liker Myrter

So much time lost in her eyes that I didn’t see the ring
She’s married to a man who is the hamberder king
Won’t grab her by the patty and I know that no means no
I’ll just erder one last erder and this time it is to go

She’s Hannah Hamberder
Still grateful to have heard her
Singing as she’s slinging MAGA fries made fresh to erder
Seven miles south of the Pennsylvania berder
I’ll never make her mine but I’m glad I didn’t hurt her

I’ll never make her mine but I’m glad I didn’t hurt her

Durks Benzley could not be reached for comment. Neither could Dierks Bentley.

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